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How to Write to Become a Good Blogger

Posted on August 29, 2011 in Personal

How to Write to Become a Good Blogger

The instructions below are how you become a good blogger:

  1. A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.
  2. About them sentence fragments.
  3. As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.
  4. Check to see if you have any words out.
  5. Don’t abbrev.
  6. Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
  7. Don’t write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
  8. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
  9. Eschew obfuscation.
  10. In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
  11. It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.
  12. Its very important that you use apostrophe’s right.
  13. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
  14. Just between you and I case is important.
  15. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
  16. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  17. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
  18. The active voice is preferred. Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.
  19. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  20. Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into our language.
    When dangling, don’t use participles.

 Rules of Riting Good

  1. Don’t use no double negatives
  2. Don’t never use no triple negatives.
  3. No sentence fragments
  4. Corollary: Complete sentences: important.
  5. Stamp out and eliminate redundancy.
  6. Avoid cliches like the plague.
  7. All generalizations are bad.
  8. Corollary: All statements must be specific.
  9. Never listen to advice.
  10. Take care that your verb and subject is in agreement.
  11. A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.
  12. Down with categorical imperatives.
  13. Avoid those run-on sentences that just go on, and on, and on, they never stop, they just keep rambling, and you really wish the person would just shut up, but no, they just keep going, they’re worse than the Energizer Bunny, they babble incessantly, and these sentences, they just never stop, they go on forever… if you get my drift…
  14. Never contradict yourself always.
  15. You should never use the second person.
  16. When dangling, watch your participles.
  17. Never go off on tangents, which are lines that intersect a curve at only one point and were discovered by Euclid, who lived in the sixth century, which was an era dominated by the Goths, who lived in what we now know as Poland…
  18. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations.”
  19. Excessive use of exclamation points can be disastrous!!!!!
  20. Remember to end each sentence with a period
  21. Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
  22. Don’t use question marks inappropriately?
  23. Don’t be terse.
  24. Don’t obfuscate your theses with extraneous verbiage.
  25. Never use that totally cool, radically groovy out-of-date slang.
  26. Avoid tumbling off the cliff of triteness into the black abyss of overused metaphors.
  27. Keep your ear to the grindstone, your nose to the ground, take the bull by the horns of a dilemma, and stop mixing your metaphors.
  28. Avoid those abysmally horrible, outrageously repellent exaggerations.
  29. Avoid any awful anachronistic aggravating antediluvian alliterations.
  30. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
  31. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  32. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  33. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  34. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
  35. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. Be more or less specific.
  36. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)unnecessary.
  37. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. No sentence fragments.
  38. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
  39. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  40. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous. One should NEVER generalize.
  41. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Don’t use no double negatives.
  42. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  43. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  44. The passive voice is to be ignored.
  45. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  46. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  47. Kill all exclamation points!!!
  48. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  49. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forthearth shaking ideas.
  50. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit itwhen its not needed.
  51. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  52. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times:
  53. Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use itcorrectly.
  54. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  55. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  56. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  57. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  58. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Rules for Writeres

  1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
  6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  7. Be more or less specific.
  8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)unnecessary.
  9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
  10. No sentence fragments.
  11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
  12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. One should NEVER generalize.
  15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  16. Don’t use no double negatives.
  17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
  21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
  24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
  26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
  27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
  29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

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